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Rawr Rawr Rawr

I have been home now for a few days. It is amazing how much you realize what live without them. I am a lucky woman, I have Michael and he loves me very much. I have come to terms with Michael and how he deals with my disabilities. He just does them, not second thought, not anger, no.... He does it with out thinking about it. My heath has gotten worse in some ways and better in other while Michael and I have been together. He just grew with my disabilities as just life. That is what he does because he loves me so much and understands my health issues, better than me most the time. No matter how much we piss each other off we can always get pass it. And I KNOW there are more GOOD times than bad, and that is how a lot (if not all) relationships work.

I LOVE MICHAEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My babies

I woke up not long ago and Midnight was still curled up at the foot of my bed. When I said "Ok, baby. Time to get down mommy need to get up." She was not moving and was actually laying on my feet. Then when Fluffy heard me say Midnight she came charging in and jumped up in the bed. She parked herself in front of my chest, flopping down and leaning up on me. I tried to get her to move but she was having none of that. So Midnight joined in, it was surprisingly hard to get out of bed with a standard poodle and a pit making sure you stay in the bed. Cute and annoying at the same time. Same as when I was here the first night. I was sleeping on the couch till we could get my bedroom ready. When I woke up in the morning the first thing I saw Fluffy staring at me, close to my face. As soon as my eyes opened I hear her tail whacking the floor and got a BIG lick on the face. It was like she was sitting there waiting to say good-morning as soon as I woke up. lol

I am still upset about Michael and I. My trust must not break despite the situation. My heart is still stewing in my stomach acids. I am lost w/o him and we never "broke up" and faithfulness should not be an issue. Still the insecurity about how I teated him, especially the last day I was there.


Been home the pass couple of days. The ONLY thing good about is I get to see my dogs. Since I got here they have been curled up in my bed with me. They are so cute, they grunt and stretch when I move into a comfortable position for me, but not them. I am getting over my parents getting in my relationship. Mom is almost crying when I don't want to talk about it. My father came to me last night and said "You don't have to say anything, just listen" He talked about relationships and how if you truly love him you can work through any thing. I had thought I finale did something that should never be forgiven. I told him I hate him, why crying. I thing/thought the best thing in my life was dying. My god, my heart would not EVER love anyone else, he is a wonderful man. I think he has forgiven me, and I will try to NEVER again treat him like that again! He is there for me anytime/anything. I love him, I Love him, I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I screw it up again there is LUCKY lady out there who is going to get Mr. WONDERFUL

Shit Duck Fuck, What Have I Done???????

I finally fucked up. I push Michael away. I'm am almost %100 that we were always together for this short trip to my parent. I don't blame him that I left I did it.

Our roommate got home last night. I texted Michael that I wanted to come home as soon as possible. He said "I don't want you rushing...I want you sure that you're in the right mind"
Is it unreasonable that I have a fear they "hooked" up together. I can't stand thinking of Michael with another woman. I think we both knew I was coming over he after that shot fit I thew at Michael. Were we still together, were we apart with the option to see other people? I should trust him more, but I can NOT handle him with another woman, I am crying now!!!


I LOVE my trike, it gives me so much between the Independence and freedom to go farther with out supervision. I have been doing shopping all on my own as much as I can. WELL, when I have my grocery in my basket I have to pull a throw blanket over the top of the basket. I put stuff up higher that the basket so I have to shove some things under the throw and secure it with my bungee cord. I we at the store just finishing loading the grocery's so they would stay up but not squish the bread and what not. A woman came up to me and said "Excuse me, I have something for you merry Christmas" So I guess I looked like a homeless person, the bondage pant and spike collar see to scream "HOMELESS" or maybe the make I was wearing. Blows my mind!! *shrug* So now I am a homeless woman and you all should send me money for me not to be so cripple and buy blankets so I will be the coolest bum under the overpass!!

Bloody Mess

Apparently I love ripping off my toenails. On my right foot all but the big toe are not there. On my left foot one is gone and the rest are there but really short. The small toe was a bloody mess, but I got it off. *sigh*

Have FaceBook? Please HELP if you do!

Some of you might know me, some may not, but PLEASE help out.

My dear friend  rockyangel  has entered a FaceBook wedding give away.
She got proposed on X-Mas, but can not afford a nice wedding, or really not at all.
I was married in the court house, I know how crappy that can feel even though you are getting married.

ANYHOW, sorry, can everyone please just go to the Wedding give away and click VOTE (might have to scroll to near the bottom of the screen)

All it will take a min. and a click of a mouse. *bats eyelashes*

Again PLEASE PLEASE *puppy dog eyes*


missbobzilla  From us both! rockyangel 

His heart has crazy eyes!

I went on a short trike ride, even though I am sick, just to the corner store. I look a mess, Michael's PJ pants, baggy Nightmare Before Christmas on, hair a mess and just a "I don't care" thing going on.
It is wired...
Some guy came up to me and said Hi, "I see you around here a lot." we chitchatted for a little. When I got on my trike to go home he gave me his number and smiled.
It is funny...
I'm working on my body & holding myself high, even in this outfit.
Thought getting hit on would make me feel sexy again.
Then I get hit on and It was uh... *shrug* maybe a bit flattering I suppose.
Why would it matter anyhow? I don't need any other men words or glances !!!
ONLY one that matters to me is mine.
Every time Michael looks at me, makes me giggle while I try to hide & not blush.
Makes me feel beautiful sexy LOVED !!!
There is no number high enough nor a word strong enough to explain how much I love him!
His eye always say "I love you" even in a fight.





Makes me want one more and more!


Just for my AWESOME boyfriend!!!

This is actually  me as a baby.
All the pix I still have as a baby
I am doing Awesome Face.

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June 2011


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